1 John 3:16-18 (NLT) 16 We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17 If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? 18 Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

What makes you feel loved? Is it when your husband comes home after a long day and tells you how much he missed you while he was gone? Is it when your child grabs you around the neck, tucks his head in under your chin and gives some good cuddle time? Is it when you get a call or text from a friend who tells you she was thinking about you? All of these things make me feel loved. Maybe they make you feel loved too. Maybe the things that make you feel loved are different.

In his discussion of 1 John chapter 2, Warren Wiersbe writes about the word love.

“Words, like coins, can be in circulation for such a long time that they start wearing out. Unfortunately, the word love is losing its value and is being used to cover a multitude of sins.

It is really difficult to understand how a man can use the same word to express his love for his wife as he uses to tell how he feels about baked beans! When words are used that carelessly, they really mean little or nothing at all. Like the dollar, they have been devalued.”

I love his illustration because it is so ridiculous that it has impact. The same word is used to express love for our spouse and how we feel about food? But we do it every day. “I love your outfit!” “I love that song!! “I love pizza!” “I love my mom!” “I love my dog! “I loved that book!” “I love playing World of Warcraft!” And these are just examples from my life. Well, except the Warcraft one, that’s my son…

In 1 John 3, John tells us “We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us.” As I was studying this passage this week, the question I asked earlier came up. What makes you feel loved? And I began to wonder, when I think of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, do I feel loved? I mean intellectually I know that it was an act of love. I know that it was the greatest act of love ever given. I know that He went through all of that for me, but do I FEEL loved by it? Jesus’ greatest declaration of love comes with enduring a day of public suffering, humiliation, and brutality. It’s not exactly the warm fuzzy we prefer when we think about love.

I have a dear friend. We have been friends for 20 years. In a lot of ways, my friend is the antithesis of me. She is not overly demonstrative or verbal in her affection. There is a lot of “matter of factness” there. Her focus tends to be fixing the problem so that we will feel better. She’s definitely a doer. But here’s the thing: even though I don’t always get the emotional support that I want (please notice I said want), I have absolutely no doubt in the depth and strength of the love that defines our relationship. She is my sister. My son is her nephew (you should see the confused looks she gets when she refers to him that way). Her children are my nieces and nephews. We are family.

I know this not because we share warm fuzzies all the time. I know it because at one of the lowest moments in my life, she packed me up, moved me into her home and away from a bad situation, and then helped me find a new place to live. I know this because when I got engaged to my husband, she was the first to celebrate and she welcomed him into her family. I know this because on the day when my son was baptized and I was so disappointed because no one in our family could attend the service, she said to me, “It’s ok. You have family here.” And I knew exactly who she meant.

The love in our relationship is defined over and over again by acts of service to each other. Yes, we have warm moments. We do encourage each other and are supportive of each other. We certainly have a great time together and enjoy one another’s company, but the defining love is not during those times of warm fuzziness. I see her love for me every time she goes out of her way to do something. Love is knowing that if I ever need anything, she is just a phone call away. And I hope she knows that is true of me too.

I think we want to make love an emotion. We want to feel love. We have attached too much importance on how we feel and it has led us astray. There are many examples of how our emotions betray us and too often we want to make decisions based on how we feel, but that’s not what John wants us to see about Jesus. John didn’t say that we know what real love is because Jesus told us how much he loves us. He didn’t say that we know what real love is because Jesus showed us through physical affection, although I am quite sure Jesus did both of those things when he was physically here. John said, “We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us.”

I like to gloss over the true extent of Jesus’ suffering. I don’t like to think about how bad it really was. I don’t want to imagine how much he hurt all over, how humiliating it was to be made fun of in public like that, how devastating it was to feel separated from His Father. And yet when I do, I begin to really see the depth of love expressed in those sufferings. Jesus doesn’t have to tell me how much he loves me; he has already shown me, If I’ll take the time to see. I think that in a lot of ways, my friend is more like Jesus than most of us. Most often her love is demonstrated through her actions, just like Jesus.

There have been many times in my life when I have felt all alone, lost, depressed, angry, and/or unloved. I have wondered over and over again if God really loves me. I have wondered if he is really there for me; if I can really trust him. In those moments I was focused too much on how I felt. I was letting my emotions guide my thoughts and my decisions. Please note, my focus was on me, not on Him. And my emotions betrayed me because, of course, God loves me! He showed me just how much 2,000 years ago: “We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us.”

The Bible clearly teaches us that real love is a verb. I don’t have to feel loved to know that I am loved. Real love is cooking dinner for my family without the expectation of a compliment. Real love is working hard to keep the house clean so we have a nice place to live. Real love is answering question number 238 of the day with as much enthusiasm as question one. (You think I’m exaggerating, don’t you…) Real love is reading the Dark Elf Trilogy when you’d really rather be reading something else. Real love is attending the funeral of someone we don’t really know to be supportive of the family we do know. Real love is staying out in the cold a while longer to shovel snow from the neighbor’s driveway too. Real love is reminding me in my moment of sorrow, “It’s ok! You have family here.” Just the right words or the right actions at the right time and years later I still know that I am loved.

Today I commit to recognizing acts of love in all of its forms, not just the ones that make me feel good. Today I will put less stock in how I feel than in what I know to be true. Today I will remember that Jesus showed me what real love is. Today I will look for ways to emulate Christ and show love in the things I do without ever saying the words.

1 John 3:18 Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

What about you? What are some meaningful ways others have shown love to you through acts of service or sacrifice? What makes you feel loved?

John 15:5 (NRSV) 5 I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing.

I used to struggle with what it means to abide in Christ… a lot. At the time I was living in Florida, working at a local hospital, and my mom was in her final hospital stay. I wanted desperately to hear Jesus, to feel his comfort, to know his presence. I knew that Jesus said we were to abide in him, but I didn’t really know what that looked like. I vividly remember having a conversation with a non-church going friend about it. She said, “What does that even mean???”

Here’s the thing: It’s really hard to abide when you work full time, your mom is dying in the hospital where you work, and your marriage has gone south forever… I found it impossible to really sit quietly in His presence and if I was sitting quietly, my brain was still going 90 to nothing. I couldn’t focus enough on him to really read his word or be able to hear him if I did. I was too wrapped up in me, I had no idea how to abide in Him.

It’s really only been in the last couple of years that I have seen for myself the value of quiet, alone time with the Lord. I have seen how spending time daily in prayer and Bible study has really brought about spiritual growth and a tangible connection to God. However, my quiet times are often not the traditional quiet times that you might be picturing in your mind right now.

A very popular, often quoted verse is Psalm 46:10. “He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;…” (NIV) Many translations translate the first verb as Be Still, so we start to think that we must be still mentally and physically in order to have quality time with God. However, the New American Standard Bible translates the verse this way: “Cease striving and know that I am God;…” To me that adds a whole new depth to the meaning of that verse! I don’t need to work so hard! I don’t have to sit still (which is good because I rarely can), I don’t have to clear my mind of everything going on around me (also a good thing because it’s nearly impossible), I just need to allow God to take whatever I’m doing or thinking to honor him.

In his book The Me I Want to Be, John Ortberg spends an entire chapter talking about finding out how we grow. His point is that just as there are no one size fits all clothing stores (could you imagine???) there is no one size fits all way to deepen your faith. God has made each one of us different and unique and therefore the way we spend time with him will also be different and unique. What works for one person might not work for someone else.

“How often in spiritual life do we get burdened because we try to wield weapons that have helped someone else in the battle? We hear about how someone else prays, or reads Scripture to start or end their day, or worships, or studies, or serves — and we feel guilty if we don’t do the same. We get frustrated because what works for someone else is not helpful to us. We are like David, trying to walk around in Saul’s armor.”

He goes on to say that we need to accept the freedom that comes with believing in Christ. “ If we really want to help someone grow, we will have to help them in a way that fits their wiring.” This has been so meaningful to me! God doesn’t want us to have cookie cutter spiritual lives. Each one of us is wired differently, so each one of us will feel close to God in different ways through different means.

The absolute fastest way for me to take a nap is to sit down to pray and it really doesn’t matter how much sleep I’ve had. It happens every time. It does work well on nights when I’m having trouble getting to sleep, though…

I have discovered that I pray best when I’m walking. Especially, when I’m walking outside in nature and speaking out loud in conversation or discussion. My focus is never better than in these moments and God has used these times to really speak to me and guide me. Of course, my neighbors think I’m a lunatic. “Hey look! There goes that woman walking down the street talking to… no one!” because, of course, I can’t talk without using my hands…

I’m also a very musical person. I have been involved in choirs since preschool and started learning my first instrument in the 3rd grade. Music speaks to me in a way that I don’t get any other way. So for me, quality time with God can look like me singing praises at the top of my lungs to Jesus while driving in my car on my way to my next destination. It doesn’t matter what I do to spend time with God, only that I do it. As Ortberg says, “A spiritual discipline is simply an activity you engage in to be made more fully alive by the Spirit of Life.” If I’m singing praise songs to Jesus and internalizing the message of the music, that counts!! This was so freeing to me! I don’t have to sit down with my Bible and my journal and pray quietly for an hour. I can sing to Jesus and it counts!

But why make the effort? Is it really worth it to abide in Christ?

In John 15, Jesus gives many benefits to abiding in Him:

We will bear much fruit. If we are spiritually minded, this becomes very important to us. Abiding in Christ gives Him the opportunity to flow in, around, and through us and out to others. Then they will have the opportunity to grow.

We can ask the Father anything and He will do it. This is an often misquoted or misinterpreted verse. Really what it means is that when we abide in Christ, He gives us His mind so that when we pray we are praying for things that He wants anyway. These are not selfish prayers. These are Holy Spirit guided prayers.

Our joy will be complete! This is joy, not happiness. Happiness is an emotion. Joy is a state of mind and heart. In Kay Warren’s book “Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn’t Enough.” Kay defines joy as:

”the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.”

God’s goal for every Christian is to live in joy no matter what our outward circumstances are, but the most effective way to do this is to abide.

He will call us friend. Just like God called Abraham a Friend of God, we too will be called Friends of God. Jesus says that this friendship is based on the fact that He has shared everything that He has learned from the Father. However, the only way to really glean that wisdom is to abide.

We are chosen. Jesus says, “You did not choose me, but I chose you…” (John 15:16) Before we ever gave any thought to God, He had already chosen us to be His friends, to be His children. Everything that God has ever done for us has been about this very thing. We were created to live in relationship with God. He wants to have fellowship with us. So we choose to abide in thankfulness to the God who has already chosen us.

Almost everything we do can have spiritual application. Freedom comes in the moment that we find it counts as quality time with God. Can’t imagine sitting still for awhile to pray? Take a walk! Don’t like to read? Listen to an audio Bible! Your gift is service? Serve others in the name of the Lord. It all counts! And each one is a way to abide will lead us closer to God. Ortberg writes, “Spiritual growth is hand-crafted, not mass-produced. God does not do ‘one-size-fits-all.’” Now let’s find our way to abide!

What about you? What are some non traditional ways you spend time with the Lord?

John 1:4-5 (NIV) In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

The people at Proverbs 31 Ministries have released a new app for Android and iOS called First5. Their goal is that we spend the first five minutes every day with the Lord. Their first devotional series has been going through the book of John. I have found these devotions a great jumping off place to dig deeper into His Word.

This week I have sensed God using these devotions to address a real need in my life. Like everyone else, I have had my share of ups and downs; victories and tragedies. However, I often find the tragedies difficult to let go of. We have all experienced hurt and disappointment in relationships and I am no different. My desire is to let go of the hurt, forgive and move on, but for me that’s not as easy as I think it should be.

Many years ago Nancy Honeytree wrote a song that has stuck with me. The chorus is:

One memory at a time

Each moment he relives is the one that he forgives

And he will live as he forgives

One memory at a time

This song really describes me. I choose to forgive. I pray I ask God to help me forgive. I tell him I’m ready, I do it and all is well… and then the next memory comes and I have to do it all over again. It isn’t that I’m not sincere. It isn’t that I don’t truly desire to move beyond this struggle. But as each new memory comes, I find myself reliving the experience over and over again along with the feelings that accompanied it. Then I find myself wondering, “How long, Lord???” How long before I can let go completely and forever? How long before this particular experience is not an issue for me anymore? Am I even making any of the progress I so desperately desire? Why is this so hard?

This morning in the First 5 devotion, Leah DiPaschal wrote a beautiful devotion about living in the light. In the section for experiencing more and digging deeper she talks about God’s ability to conquer the darkness and includes some very powerful verses to accompany it.

As I read these scriptures today, I was definitely sensing the continuation of a theme. God wants to work on my inner darkness. I found the extra verses that were included in the “More” section very powerful and through those verses, God brought to mind other relevant verses.

My darkness is definitely the hurt and unforgiveness I’ve been carrying around with me even though I desperately desire to be rid of these things! This was Jesus said about our darkness in John:

John 3:19-21 (NIV) 19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

As I read these verses, I had the image of someone who is in a very dark room and then suddenly very bright lights are turned on. It has happened to all of us. Our first reaction is to squint and shield our eyes. We shy away from the light. We want to stay in the darkness because at this point the light is painful. And isn’t that the problem? Allowing God to bring my dark places to the light is painful. I don’t always like the path of healing. It’s like treating a deep infected wound. The infected part must be cut out before full healing can begin. Pain before gain. But eventually we get used to the light and we don’t want to stay in the darkness. The light reveals all that we’ve been missing. We learn to love the light.

I want to embrace the light completely. I want to get rid of all of my darkness. So why is releasing these things such a struggle for me?

As I read through the First 5 extra verses, I found at least part of the answer. In Job 12:13-14, 22 God says this:

13 “To God belong wisdom and power;

counsel and understanding are his.

14 What he tears down cannot be rebuilt;

those he imprisons cannot be released.

22 He reveals the deep things of darkness

and brings utter darkness into the light. (NIV)

What God tears down cannot be rebuilt!! What God imprisons cannot be released! That’s what I want! I want God to tear down and imprison my hurt and my unforgiveness so that it never returns. He is the only one who can. This is promise emphasizes God’s power. I can’t do this, but He can.

Another missing piece of the puzzle is revealed in Psalm 89:17.

You are their glorious strength.

It pleases you to make us strong. (NIV)

The Lord is my strength. I think that although I’ve been fervently praying that God would help me with this, I’ve been trying to do too much on my own. I think I shouldn’t be asking Him to help me. I should be asking Him to do this for me. I don’t have the power that God has. What I tear down CAN be rebuilt. What I imprison CAN be released. Or as God said to Zechariah:

Zechariah 4:6 (NIV) 6 So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.

It’s not my might or my power that can accomplish anything. It is only by His Spirit who has access to His wisdom and His power. Sometimes I really do try too hard…

The end of Psalm 89:17 says, “It pleases you to make us strong.” It is His desire to make me strong! I need to think about that for a minute. I need to marinate in the fact that God’s desire is to make me strong. He wants me to be strong! He desires it! So why do I keep fighting him? If He and I have the same desire to heal my heart and enable me to completely forgive, why do I fight against him? Because the strength He wants me to have is not my own and I much prefer to be in control…

Paul faced a similar dilemma in 2 Corinthians chapter 12. He writes about how he had a thorn in his flesh. No ones knows for sure what was going on with Paul, although there is loads of speculation as to what his problem might have been. I personally think that Paul left this deliberately vague because each one of us will be plagued by different things, but the truth of what God revealed to him is applicable to all of us. Whatever it was, Paul prayed to God three times asking Him to remove this problem. In Paul’s own words:

8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (NLT)

After begging God to take this thing away, Paul realized that He was actually stronger when he was weak. It wasn’t his power that could overcome these things, it was God’s power and God’s power could only fully manifest when he was weak. Now I don’t know about taking pleasure in these things… I am far from there, but maybe from these passages, I can begin to understand the purpose in the length of my struggle. Maybe God is reminding me that only He can do this work and if my struggles completely go away, then His power to work within me will be reduced because I will think I can handle it from here. I will take over and try to do things in my power. I will forget that God’s desire is to make me strong through His power. I know I will, I have done it before…

Today I choose to hold on to His promises. I choose to remember that what He tears down CANNOT be rebuilt. What He imprisons CANNOT be set free. He desires to make me strong through my weakness. He is my glorious strength. Today I choose to surrender my darkness to His wonderful light.

How about you? Are you holding on to a place of darkness in your life? Are you struggling to let it go only to have it return time and time and time again? What decision will you make today?

Mark 4:35-41 (NIV)

“35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37  A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38  Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” 39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. 40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” 41  They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

As I studied this passage this week, some things really popped out at me and, I confess, I didn’t like them very much. After all, who wants to deal with a storm? I personally prefer calm, smooth sailing.

In this passage, Jesus had spent the day teaching and healing the people who were following him around. It was probably a long and tiring day and Jesus was ready for some “manly man” time with his disciples. He suggests they get in a boat and sail to the other side of the Sea of Galilee. Once he was still in the boat, he fell asleep. I have days like this; days where I’m so tired that as long as I keep moving I’m fine, but as soon as I get still for more than a couple of minutes I fall fast asleep. In fact, there are many times when I don’t know who was eliminated on Dancing with the Stars or The Voice until the next day because I fell asleep before the end. (This is where an attentive husband and TiVo are such a blessing.) I love this reminder of Jesus’ humanity. Sometimes I forget that when I am exhausted, he knows exactly how I feel.

While Jesus is asleep, a storm comes up. Because of the way the mountains surround the Sea Of Galilee, storms can come up very quickly and very unexpectedly. The NIV Study Bible explains it this way, “Situated in a basin surrounded by mountains, the Sea of Galilee is particularly susceptible to sudden, violent storms. Cool air from the Mediterranean is drawn down through the narrow mountain passes and clashes with the hot, humid air lying over the lake.” These storms can be really fierce. In fact, the word used in the Greek for this storm can also be translated hurricane. These storms are definitely not for the faint of heart. Since many of the disciples were fishermen used to this sea, these storms were familiar to them. So I think that for them to get this afraid, this one must have been especially terrible.

Here’s the thing: the disciples would have had no way of knowing that this storm was coming, but Jesus did. Jesus knew what would happen when he suggested they get in the boat that day and yet told them to do it anyway. I told you there were lessons in here that I didn’t like…

In his New Testament commentary for this passage, Warren Wiersbe puts it this way, ‘’The same day’ refers to the day on which Jesus gave the ‘parables of the kingdom.’ He had been teaching His disciples the Word, and now He would give them a practical test to see how much they had really learned. After all, the hearing of God’s Word is intended to produce faith (Rom. 10:17), and faith must always be tested. It is not enough for us merely to learn a lesson or be able to repeat a teaching. We must also be able to practice that lesson by faith, and that is one reason why God permits trials to come to our lives.” In other words as my former Bible Study Fellowship teaching leader used to say, “Faith is a muscle and we have to use it in order for it to get stronger.” Application! Application! Application!

Honestly, I don’t like these thoughts either. It’s like God is giving us homework. I never really liked homework when I was in school and now my son doesn’t like it either. I find myself in the position of having to remind him of the benefits of homework even though I know I said the same things at his age. I understand not wanting to sit and do the same kind of math problems over and over again, but that is how the teachers measure the understanding level of the students. In order to really remember and understand what they have learned, they must practice.

My husband and I had a similar discussion last night. When my son was much younger and still taking naps, I worked through a lot of computer books. I learned HTML and CSS. I read through the Missing Manuals for the latest operating systems (yeah, I’m that girl…); all in the hopes that I would be able to help my husband in the Information Technology business we had started. The problem is that I never really applied what I learned. I haven’t had the opportunity to design a website from scratch or play with the style sheets from an existing site. The result is that I have retained very little.

What brought this up is that this summer my son and I plan to learn Java, but I don’t want the same thing to happen again. My husband and I started talking about what kind of project we could do so that we would have the opportunity to apply what we learned. We will be able to use our knowledge to create and maintain a new app and hopefully our knowledge of that programming language will be cemented in our heads.

Jesus had been teaching the people all day long and now it was time to see if they could apply what they had learned. Jesus wanted to measure their understanding. I can really relate to the disciples here because so often when I’m faced with that hurricane designed to strengthen and cement my faith, I fall flat on my face too. I have panicked in the face of the wind and waves. I have asked God if he cares at all.

In verse 40 Jesus asks the question, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” I think he was telling them that fear and faith cannot coexist. As long as they were afraid, they could not claim to have true faith in the circumstance. As I look at my life, I find this a humbling thought. I’m by no means a spiritual giant, but I do consider myself a person of faith and yet often I find myself terrified. In those moments, I now realize I have let my fear overcome my faith. That fear chokes out my faith the way the weeds choke out the good plants in the garden and God needs me to see the places where I still have these fears. That’s when the testing comes.

I also noticed that even knowing what was coming, Jesus was so confident and secure in his Father’s love and care that he was able to lie down and sleep through the storm. How many of us can say that? I do think that Jesus was exhausted, but I also think this is yet another example for us to follow. His faith was so great that it didn’t matter what his body was about to endure. His trust was so secure that he walked directly into the storm without a second thought.

Jesus understands our physical needs and in the midst of a physical need may lead us into a storm. However, He wants us to have so much faith and trust in Him that we can sleep soundly in the midst of the storm as we rest in His care. He wants us to be so close to him that our first reaction is to remember that he can and will use this thing for my good and his glory. It’s humbling to realize that God could, at any moment, lead me directly into a storm. However, His desire is that I not panic, but completely trust Him and Jesus showed me how. I want to be able to do that, but I’m not there yet.

These two things should be always present in our minds because they affect everything we do. We don’t have to panic because God is sovereign. We don’t have to panic because He is omnipotent. Sometimes He will lead us into a storm because He wants to remind us that He is trustworthy and our faith never grows if it’s not exercised. Even in these times, we can trust Him.

Have you faced any hurricanes lately? Were you able to walk in the footsteps of Jesus and show faith and trust or were you like me and the disciples and panicked first? God will continue to work in, around, and through each of us to shape us into his likeness. He is the same God who controlled the winds and the waves on the Sea of Galilee. He took care of the disciples then and he will take care of us now.

Mark 6:31 (NLT) Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.”

The more I study the life of Jesus, the more I realize just how many of the things He did that were done to set an example for us. For instance, Jesus went to John the Baptist to be baptized. John’s baptism was for forgiveness of sin, yet Jesus had never sinned. Jesus didn’t need to be baptized, Jesus knew that He should be baptized to set a good example for us.

Then Jesus was tempted by Satan in the wilderness. I’m sure there were many reasons that God allowed this to happen, but I think a big one was to teach us how to handle temptation when we are faced with it. Otherwise, why would Jesus have told the story to His disciples who then recorded it for us to read later?

I think another example that Jesus lived out for us in His daily ministry is one that we often forget. He lived out the need for rest and alone time with God.

Mark 1:32-37 (NIV) 32 That evening after sunset the people brought to Jesus all the sick and demon-possessed. 33 The whole town gathered at the door, 34 and Jesus healed many who had various diseases. He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was.

35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.36 Simon and his companions went to look for him, 37 and when they found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!”

Jesus spent an evening healing the sick and driving out demons. I would think he would be very tired and he probably was, but more important to him was time spent with his Father. He needed to recharge, spiritually. One on one time with God became the foundation of his ministry. Here is another example:

Luke 5:15-16: 15 But despite Jesus’ instructions, the report of his power spread even faster, and vast crowds came to hear him preach and to be healed of their diseases. 16 But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer. (NLT)

If you read previously in this chapter of Luke, you will see that this was a busy day! Jesus spent the morning preaching along the Sea of Galilee. Then He took Peter out so that Peter could catch some fish, called His first disciples, and healed a man with leprosy. He spent the day acting out His faith (preaching, teaching, healing, doing miracles) but then He took time to be quiet and alone with God.

Luke 6:12-13 12One day soon afterward Jesus went up on a mountain to pray, and he prayed to God all night. 13 At daybreak he called together all of his disciples and chose twelve of them to be apostles. (NLT)

Over and over again, we see Jesus go without sleep or even leave the people for a while to spend time alone with God. These moments with His Father seemed to recharge Him like no nap or good night’s sleep ever could. Oh, that I could learn this lesson.

In today’s church the common statistic is that 20% of the people do 80% of the work. If those people are anything like me, they also have more than one job in the church where they serve. Unfortunately, the result is often that we are so busy getting things done for the church that we don’t take time to rest. We’ve decided that working for Jesus is much more important than resting in Jesus.

There have been so many times when I was afraid to miss a Sunday or an event, etc because this is my ministry and no one can do it the way I do. They need me. I should be there. I have felt guilty so many times for being absent or even sick and missing something. And I don’t think I am wrong, other people will not do things exactly the way I would do them. The part that I forget is: that is ok.

I have a very honest friend who reminds me that the Holy Spirit can use anyone and He uses every person differently. If I am truly joining the Lord in His work then I must remember that I am not the essential one in the partnership, He is. He will use any vessel He chooses, willing or unwilling to accomplish His purposes. Sometimes I need this humbling reminder that it isn’t about me, it’s all about Him. I can leave and God will find another willing vessel to get His message across whether it is in Sunday School, Preschool choir, or through music.

Which brings me back to my point. Jesus is the essential one in all of these equations and yet He often took time and opportunity to get away. He left people who were in need to retreat into the mountains and be alone with God. Without saying a word, I believe that Jesus is teaching us the very important principle that we must take care of ourselves first in order to be effective ministers for Him. If I fill my days up with doing things, things get done. If I forget to take time to BE, then my attitude, my effectiveness, even my efficiency is compromised.

In the last few years, I have developed a love of gardening. My mother-in-law and her siblings are thrilled! They feel like in this area they have had a positive effect on me. I am truly part of their family now because I have joined in the family pastime. At my house, we have flowers in the front yard and then in the back we have an herb garden in one place and a fruit/vegetable garden in another. I find tending the garden to be both productive because I get things from my garden that I can eat or cook with and relaxing because this is quiet time surrounded by God’s creation. I often think about God as I’m working in the garden.

If we use the analogy that our relationship with God is like a garden (which, by the way, is one of my favorite analogies), then we can see that periodic weeding of the garden is necessary in order to maintain its beauty and its productivity. If I never take the time to weed the garden, the pretty flowers will be choked out by weeds. The garden will become overgrown and ugly. I won’t have herbs or fruits or vegetables because they can’t thrive in an environment where they are competing with weeds.

If I never take the time to BE with God, I still have a garden, (my relationship with Him never goes away) but it becomes full of weeds and is not very pretty to look at. The weeds (things that interfere with my relationship to God), if allowed to take over, will choke out the beneficial plants that I want to thrive there. When I do take the time to be with God, my garden is weeded, God points out things to me that aren’t right; places where I need to ask or offer forgiveness; attitudes that don’t glorify Him and shows me how to take care of them. He also reveals Himself to me in a deeper more intimate way allowing my faith and my trust to grow.

If I don’t take time to Be with God, I can still work for His kingdom, but I will tend to get frustrated, upset, or even burned out because I haven’t gone back to the one who is the sustainer of all things. I also can’t pass along what I’m learning because I’m not really learning very much. God can’t get a word in edgewise with all of my busy-ness.

By His actions, Jesus is showing us the value of resting in Him. He wants us to take time to relax and enjoy Him, just like we spend time relaxing and enjoying our friends. And when it is time to work, He promises to help us:

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus didn’t just promise to strengthen us and send us on our way. He’s helping to shoulder the burden with us. He is, after all, on the other side of the yoke and I think that since my burden is light, He is probably carrying most of the weight. However, this only works if I go to Him first.

I love that we can look at the life of Jesus and see not only in the things He said, but also in how He lived, important things about developing a close relationship with God. Jesus went to God for rest. Jesus offers us rest. I want to be more deliberate about taking Him up on that offer. What about you?

**Author’s note: all emphasis in scripture passages is mine.

Exodus 4:13 But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” (NIV)

I love the humanity of Biblical heroes. I think God shows them to us, warts and all, in order to remind us that He is not sending out perfect people. He is sending out imperfect people with a perfect God to work in a perfect plan.

The story in Exodus 3 and 4 is a familiar one. After Moses blows it in Egypt at age 40, he goes to the wilderness of Midian to hide from Pharaoh (he thinks). I believe that God really had Moses there to grow. So 40 years later, it’s time. At the end of Exodus 2 verses 23 and 24 tell us:

“23 Years passed, and the king of Egypt died. But the Israelites continued to groan under their burden of slavery. They cried out for help, and their cry rose up to God. 24 God heard their groaning, and he remembered his covenant promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. 25 He looked down on the people of Israel and knew it was time to act.” (NLT)

God knew it was time to act, enter Moses.

God get’s Moses’ attention again by appearing to him from a burning bush, except it wasn’t really burning which is why Moses got interested. God tells Moses the plan and Moses immediately comes up with all the reasons he shouldn’t go.

Exodus 3:11 (NIV) “11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?””

Exodus 3:13 (NIV) “13 Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?””

Exodus 4:1 (NIV) “Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you’?”

Exodus 4:10 (NIV) “10 Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

And finally, the last straw and the real truth:

Exodus 4:13 (NIV) 13 But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”

Can’t you just hear him, “But I don’t want to go!!!!” “Don’t make me do that!” “That’s not fair!”

I hear things like this from my son all the time. I know why the next verse tells us God got angry, the thing I don’t understand is why He didn’t get angry sooner. I would have. I’m not sure I would have made it past excuse number 2 without yelling, “WILL YOU JUST TRUST ME???” The painful part of this though is the realization that God hears this from me too.

For as long as I can remember I have loved music. You could say that music has been my life especially for the last 15 years or so. Everything I did in ministry revolved around music. I sang in the choir, sang on the Praise Team, I led preschool choir. For VBS, I was often asked to help with music is some form. Music was my ministry. Music was my life. Then I developed some vocal damage due to complications from illnesses and medical conditions and I had to stop singing. It was like my entire world had been ripped out from under me. I was devastated.

During this time of recovery (and I have mostly recovered now), I had one friend in particular who tried to encourage me with these words, “I think God is leading you to another area of ministry.” I very distinctly remember having the very same reaction every time she said it, “But I don’t wanna go!” I never said it out loud. I don’t know if my friend knows this is what I was thinking or not because all I did was smile and nod. I didn’t look for a new ministry. I didn’t want a new ministry. I wanted my old ministries back. I wanted my life back, just the way it was before.

I can picture Moses having a similar inner monologue going on. Maybe it was something like, I’m happy here in Midian. I have a quiet life as a shepherd with lots of time to think about God. I have a great family now. I love my wife and my sons and I’m one of the rare people who gets along great with my in-laws. I tried helping out in Egypt and look what that got me. I’d rather stay here where I’m comfortable.

Ugh…

I did it…

I went there…

I want to be comfortable…

I wanted to be comfortable too. The music ministry was comfortable for me. I felt prepared there. I felt gifted there. I was well trained in music, it was a safe place. The problem is that God doesn’t call us to be comfortable, He calls us to be faithful. God wouldn’t let me stay comfortable and He wouldn’t let Moses stay comfortable either.

Exodus 4:14 (NIV) Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you. 15 You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. 16 He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him. 17 But take this staff in your hand so you can perform the signs with it.”

Moses fought hard against God and it made his journey much more difficult. I know the feeling, I did the same thing…

Holding onto my plan and my dream led down a path of depression, sometimes to the point of despair, and damaged relationships. I made it difficult for me, for my family, and for my friends. That process was much harder than God wanted it to be because I fought so hard against it. I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t just trust.

Moses did the same thing and his consequences were far reaching. Moses’ excuses gave him a big problem. God responded in a way that took care of the excuse, but it also greatly limited Moses’ power and authority. Vs 15 You [Moses] shall speak to [Aaron] and put words in his mouth… every single time… Vs 16 [Aaron] will speak to the people for you as if he were your mouth and you were God to him… every single time… Do you wonder if Moses ever got tired of not being able to directly address the people? Do you wonder if God answered back, “I told you so…”

Moses could never again move without Aaron. He needed Aaron to speak. Can you imagine? Come here Aaron, I have a message from God for these people. Hey Aaron, I need you! I have something else to say. Moses even lost the privilege of doing the miracles. Now Aaron gets to have all the fun.

Exodus 4:30-31a (NIV) “and Aaron told them everything the Lord had said to Moses. He also performed the signs before the people, 31 and they believed.”

I can only wonder how many times Moses kicked himself for fighting against God and being in that situation.

God’s plan will be accomplished. He wants to do it the easy way, but it will happen, even if it’s the hard way. I’ve experienced that part too. My friend was right. Even with all my protests, God was moving me to a new ministry. I now teach Sunday School to 5th graders. The kids have been a tremendous blessing to me and I know I am where God has led me to be. God has used this new place to help me grow spiritually and to develop relationships with kids that help them to grow too. I just wish I had gone there the easy way.

So what place is God taking you that you don’t want to go? Are you going to do it the easy way or the hard way?